


Never Enough

by witchpointe



Category: VIXX
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, First Time, M/M, quite possibly the fluffiest smut ill ever write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 17:07:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19480315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchpointe/pseuds/witchpointe
Summary: It's with heated cheeks and downturned eyes, fidgeting hands, and heart slamming in his chest that Hongbin tells Hakyeon he's never been with anyone.





	Never Enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kxtsukiyuri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kxtsukiyuri/gifts).



It's with heated cheeks and downturned eyes, fidgeting hands, and heart slamming in his chest that Hongbin tells Hakyeon he's never been with anyone.

He knows he won't be rejected, that isn't his fear. It's simply that he wants to be perfect for Hakyeon in every way--and admitting his virginity is admitting that he will be an imperfect lover.

Hakyeon takes his hands and holds them to his chest, letting silence pass between them until Hongbin finally meets his gaze, as he so often does when he wants to make a point. Squeezing Hongbin's fingers, he tells him that he is going to make his first time as amazing as he is. Hongbin makes a gagging noise, to which Hakyeon just laughs, gathering him into a hug.

Hakyeon has an ability for being over the top when it came to these things, and so Hongbin is pleasantly surprised when he's greeted one night, the night of his own choosing, by his bed covered in a scattering of peony petals and the headboard holding two single taper candles.

He felt all the things he should say: oh you shouldn't have, I don't deserve this, isn't this a bit silly--but he finds that he likes the ambiance of his room in candlelight and the way the light pink petals look against his plain white comforter, and more than anything, he enjoys the soft way Hakyeon's eyes are watching him take it all in.

Hakyeon wraps his arms around Hongbin's neck and kisses him, slow and chaste. "Are you sure?"

Is he sure? He's sure he wants Hakyeon. The only thing he's unsure of is himself, his unsteady hands, his body that suddenly feels too big. He nods.

Hongbin is sat on the edge of his bed by Hakyeon, who crawls into his lap, slowly, slinking. He doesn't sit, but stays on his knees, making Hongbin stretch his neck to look up at him. It's a position they've been in before, but tonight it feels different--there's both a gravity and a nervousness buzzing between them.

Hakyeon lowers himself, runs his fingers through the soft, curly hair at the nape of Hongbin's neck. "I want you," Hakyeon whispers against his cheekbone, and his cock stirs at that.

Someone wants  _ him. _ Sure, people around the world think they want the stage-presence made-up imagined version of him that he lets them see. But Hakyeon--Hakyeon wants the real version of him, the one that's seen him at his lowest and ugliest points.

Pulling his sweater above his head, Hakyeon allows it to drop to the floor behind him. His hair sticks up in different directions and Hongbin can't help but pat it down. Hakyeon watches him do this, a little grin on his face.

"Your turn."

Hakyeon has Hongbin's t-shirt up and over his head before he realizes what's happening. He pushes against Hongbin's chest lightly and down he goes, back against the bed, feeling the softness of the petals press against his back.

Hakyeon drapes himself over Hongbin and kisses him, harder and more intense than before. Just as Hongbin falls into the perfect rhythm Hakyeon moves away to bite his chin, then moves lower.

"I've always loved your torso," he says, licking up the center of Hongbin's chest. He closes his eyes and hums, like he's appreciating good food. "It's so  _ long _ ."

Hakyeon runs his fingers along the lines of Hongbin's stomach, kissing circles on his chest. Heat and tickle curl in his stomach, and Hongbin's body goes rigid trying not to laugh or move.

Licking a nipple into his mouth, Hakyeon holds it between his teeth while swirling his tongue. Hongbin feels it  _ everywhere _ .

"Fuck, Hakyeon," Hongbin says, his head hitting back against the bed.

"Oh. There's your voice," he says, amusement breaking into his tone.

Hongbin feels the shame heat his face. He realizes his hands are fisted at his sides and Hakyeon would probably like to be touched, too.

"Do I need to talk more? I don't--"

Hakyeon interrupts him with a kiss. "I want you to do whatever feels natural."

With a kiss to Hongbin's forehead, he sits up, which presses his ass against Hongbin's cock. His eyes flutter shut and he moans, quietly, as if he could hide it from the man on top of him.

Hakyeon swirls his hips and Hongbin nearly chokes.

"Do you want to top?" Hakyeon asks. "I don't mind--"

"No," Hongbin says. He's hyper-aware of the placement of his hands, high on Hakyeon's hips. "I need… I need you to be in control."

Hakyeon takes Hongbin's hands and in one swift motion they're pinned above his head by the wrists, Hakyeon staring down at him intently. "Control hmm?"

"Not…" Hongbin wriggles to be free, hips lifting into Hakyeon and rubbing them together. "Not like that."

"I know," Hakyeon says, giggling. He releases Hongbin's wrists, kissing them gently.

Then he's gone from the bed and standing at the foot, playing with Hongbin's ankles. Hongbin gets to his elbows.

"I want you naked." Hakyeon tugs on the end of Hongbin's jeans. "Can I?"

Hakyeon is between Hongbin's feet but he feels everywhere, so close, like he's pressing in on Hongbin. He breathes in a great intake of air and swallows. This is it. Hakyeon gets to see him as no one has before, and the vulnerability in that makes his heart beat faster, both in fear and arousal.

"Yeah."

They struggle and wrestle to get the rest of Hongbin's clothing off, knocking a good deal of petals to the floor. Hongbin's knee-jerk reaction is to cover himself as Hakyeon just stands there, taking him in. Instead he fists the comforter, lying back and looking at the ceiling.

He's never been comfortable with his lower half--his legs are short for how tall he is and scrawny as well. He's always thought they look awkward. As for his cock--he knows he's about average and has nothing to complain about, but now that he's here with Hakyeon he wishes he had a little more to show for himself.

Oh,  _ no _ . Hakyeon is frowning. 

"You look so uncomfortable," he says. "Do you want to stop?"

"No," Hongbin says. He bites his lip. "I'm just… overthinking I guess. Tell me what to do."

Hakyeon nips at the indent of Hongbin's foot. "Sit all the way back on the bed."

Hongbin does as he's told, sighing at the cold press of the headboard against his back. He watches Hakyeon undress, shimmy his clothes down his hips. He's thought about it so many times, but it was never like this; he never pictured Hakyeon prowling across his bed in the candlelight to grab him by the neck and kiss him.

Hakyeon sits back and the shadows are long between them. He grabs the base of Hongbin's cock, watching Hongbin's face as his gasp falls into a moan.

"Hongbin," he breathes across his face, "you have a pretty little cock." He squeezes on the last three words and Hongbin bucks in Hakyeon's grip, both hands clutched around Hakyeon's forearm.

"I'm going to suck your pretty little cock. Is that okay?"

"Please." Hongbin squeezes his eyes shut, head falling back. "Please."

Hakyeon positions himself between Hongbin's legs, hugging them with his hands on Hongbin's hips. He licks his lips and looks up, and Hongbin doesn't think he's ever been more turned on in his entire life.

"Your hands," Hakyeon makes a motion in his hair, "you can pull my hair." He grins. "I like it."

Hongbin tentatively pets Hakyeon's hair, then curls his fingers in it. He loses his grip immediately, groaning when Hakyeon licks up his length and his hips lift off the bed.

Hakyeon presses his arm across Hongbin's hips. "You have to stay still. I've done this before but I'm not a porn star."

Hongbin chuckles and it makes Hakyeon beam at him, and it eases a bit of the tension that Hongbin didn't realize had been building.

Then Hakyeon's mouth is moving, and Hongbin sees it coming but nothing prepares him for the feeling of Hakyeon's mouth around the head of his cock. Hakyeon releases him just to do it again and he cries out, slapping a hand over his mouth, while the other is curled deep into Hakyeon's hair.

He sinks deeper, working his tongue, and Hongbin slides along the roof of his mouth. It's so wet, and so hot, and so  _ wonderful _ , Hongbin doesn't know what to do with himself, the sensation so overwhelming that he grabs two handfuls of Hakyeon's hair and  _ pulls _ .

Hakyeon's fingers curl into Hongbin's flesh and he moans straight onto Hongbin's cock. Hongbin can't help but fuck up into Hakyeon's mouth with a cry of his name. Hakyeon gags and presses harder down on Hongbin's hips.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," Hongbin says, breathless.

Hakyeon pulls off. "It's okay, baby," he says against the side of Hongbin's cock, mouthing at it, leaving sloppy kisses along the shaft. He swallows him down again, slower this time, meeting Hongbin's eyes. Then he sets a pace with his mouth and hand that has Hongbin chanting his name, tugging frantically at his hair.

"Hakyeon, Hakyeon please, I don't want to come yet."

Reluctant, Hakyeon pulls off. Lifting himself to his knees, he takes Hongbin by the jaw in both hands. His voice is rough. "You taste so good."

Then he's kissing him, and Hongbin wants to protest at first, the taste of himself salty and foreign. But it's  _ Hakyeon _ , and he’s been dreaming of this for so long; he deepens the kiss, pulling Hakyeon closer by the back of his neck.

Hongbin breaks away. “Do you want me to--?”

“Not now,” Hakyeon says, his thumb lingering on Hongbin’s bottom lip. “I want to fuck you now.”

Reaching out, Hongbin traces the vein on Hakyeon’s cock. Hakyeon hums appreciatively, watching him through lidded eyes.

“You’re so big.” Hongbin bites his lip. “Is it too late to change my mind about topping?”

“Of course not.”

Hongbin continues to touch Hakyeon softly, teasing. He looks to the left, avoiding Hakyeon’s eyes. “You can make it feel good?”

Whether Hakyeon can tell he’s only playing coy now or not, he doesn’t know. But he’s enjoying the ebb and flow of Hakyeon being in control, of being guided. He indulges in how small and comforted he feels, how taken care of.

“All I ever wanted was to make you feel good, sweetheart.”

And that knocks Hongbin’s confidence for a loop, crashing into him while Hakyeon kisses him on the temple.

Hongbin returns his hands to his own lap. “O-okay.”

When Hongbin lowers his head, Hakyeon brushes his hair from his face.

“What do you want, Hongbin?” Hakyeon’s voice is clear and kind. “When you think about us together, what’s it like?”

Hongbin knows what he wants, but it’s so difficult to  _ say _ . He just wants Hakyeon to take over so he doesn’t have to think or speak. There’s not enough air in the room and he feels too warm, stuttering and stopping over his words a few times before taking a deep breath.

“I want--you. I want to feel you inside me.”

Hakyeon’s eyes deepen in a subtle but wholly stirring way. He licks his lips and his mouth stays open as he grasps Hongbin’s thigh and pulls him farther down the bed until he’s lying completely.

“I want that, too.”

From the nightstand, Hakyeon takes the lube and condom and balances them on Hongbin’s chest. “Okay, I’m going to--”

“I know what you’re going to do. I’m a virgin, not naive.”

Hakyeon squints at him and moves farther down his legs to spread them apart.

“ _ Okay _ . I’m going to prep you now and you can tell me to stop or slow down, when to add more. You’re in control.”

Squeezing his thighs together, Hongbin releases a sound of frustration that has Hakyeon’s brows furrowed in concern. Hongbin huffs. “I don’t  _ want _ to be in control. I told you that.”

“But--”

“It’s not comfortable for me. I need you to lead me through this.”

Hakyeon releases his grip on Hongbin’s shins. “I just want you to feel safe.”

Hongbin opens his legs again and raises his knees, making himself vulnerable in more ways than one. “I trust you.”

Sliding forward until he’s encircled in Hongbin’s legs, Hakyeon slides his hands down Hongbin’s thighs and glides inward, playing with the curling hair above his cock. Hongbin hums happily, arching slightly and sliding the bottle down his stomach into Hakyeon’s hands.

Then he lies back and waits. Hakyeon’s hands. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t excited to have them inside of him. He’s always loved Hakyeon’s hands; his strong wide fingers, so long after the second knuckle, so gentle whenever he touches him.

A kiss to his knee almost distracts him from the strange feeling of the lube drizzling against his ass, and Hakyeon’s finger circling his hole, wetting it, teasing it.

“So,” Hakyeon says, kissing farther down his thigh. “You never answered me. When you think about us together, what do you think of?”

“I like to think of us...in the shower--" Hongbin squeezes his eyes shut as Hakyeon pushes his first finger inside. He takes a shaky breath, focusing instead on the steadying hand on his hip.

"Yeah?" Hakyeon asks. "What am I doing in this shower?"

"You're-- _ nnn _ \---fucking me against the tile, biting into my neck."

Hakyeon's finger swirls inside him, and it doesn't feel quite so invasive anymore.

"So you like biting?" 

Hakyeon grabs the outside of Hongbin's thigh and bites down on the inside,  _ hard _ . Hongbin cries out and lifts his hips, clenching down on Hakyeon's finger.

"Mmm, that's it," Hakyeon encourages, kissing over his teeth marks. He stops and swirls his finger the other way now, and his finger feels smaller and smaller.

Another finger has Hongbin gasping and babbling, trying to distract himself from the feeling.

"I always used to think about you taking me backstage, some place dark and cramped, some place where we could easily get caught."

Hakyeon grins against Hongbin's thigh. "Oh, you naughty boy."

The tone is obviously facetious, but it makes Hongbin tingle in his gut anyway. Hakyeon is pressing around inside of him, rolling his fingers and pulling them apart, and the burn is fading into a pleasurable ache that Hongbin can feel from the base of his spine down to his feet.

"I like to think about you on lazy Sunday mornings, still wrapped in my bed sheets and fighting sleep, rocking back and forth on my cock and saying my name like a prayer."

"Oh god," Hongbin says, closing his eyes and arching, meeting Hakyeon's hand over and over with a sincerity that was missing before. He's only felt it a few other times, but he wants to be filled now, so desperately, and Hakyeon's fingers feel like nothing, nothing.

Hongbin reaches for Hakyeon's wrist, but only manages in batting at it with his fingers. "More, more."

"Yes, baby," Hakyeon says, sucking a kiss into Hongbin's thigh.

The stretch from the third finger feels like so much--it hurts a little, but it's so good, Hongbin finds himself reaching between his legs and grabbing Hakyeon's arm. He takes over the pace and control and Hakyeon gives into him, watching as he essentially fucks himself on Hakyeon's hand.

"S-so good," Hongbin says, spreading his legs further apart to see Hakyeon. "Kiss me p-please."

It takes some awkward maneuvering, but they get the angle right and Hongbin whimpers into Hakyeon's mouth as he takes control of his own wrist again.

"Trust me," Hakyeon smiles against his lips, and instinctually Hongbin knows what's coming, but he's always been too afraid to finger himself, never felt what it's like, so when Hakyeon's fingertips graze over the spot they're looking for, he yells out and clutches Hakyeon's bicep.

"Fuck," Hongbin's blunt nails scrape down Hakyeon's arm. "Again, again."

Hakyeon lets him have what he wants, watches as Hongbin writhes against the comforter and releases stuccato little moans in time with the thrusts of his hand.

Then all at once the sensations are gone, and Hongbin feels like he could cry. He sits up, messy curls sweat-clung to his face, breathing heavy.

Hakyeon fishes the condom out from Hongbin's side where it has fallen and gives him a kiss on the forehead. Watching as he rolls it on, Hongbin realizes he's bearing down on nothing, yearning for something inside him again. Hakyeon neatly covers himself in lube, and Hongbin feels like he's going to die waiting.

Finally, Hakyeon moves to push him down and climb over him. "Are you ready?"

Hongbin's legs curl around his waist to get him closer. "Yes,  _ please _ ."

Hakyeon slides into him, and although it hurts a little and takes his breath away, makes his body go rigid, it feels right, like this is the way things always should have been.

"Relax," Hakyeon reminds him, combing his fingers through his hair. "Breathe."

He breathes through it, forcing his muscles to relax as Hakyeon kisses up and down his neck, nipping at his jaw. The bed shakes gently with Hakyeon's effort to hold himself back.

Letting his head hang down against Hongbin's, their cheekbones pressed together, Hakyeon groans. "You're so good. You feel so good."

Hongbin wriggles and seethes. "You're so...big."

"Yes," Hakyeon says, and he pulls his hips back gradually to slide them in again. "Say it again."

The sweet slide of Hakyeon's cock grazes his spot and he curses, reaching around Hakyeon to knead at his back.

"Your cock is so big," Hongbin breathes into his ear, and Hakyeon's fingertips clench into his hip.

Hakyeon continues the slow, torturous pace, that feels good but is not ultimately satisfying for either of them.

"Faster," Hongbin whines, reaching his long arms down to grab Hakyeon's ass and pull him closer.

Hakyeon raises his head. "Oh," he pants, "so now you want control?"

Hongbin clenches around Hakyeon in response, making his head fall back onto Hongbin's chest. "Faster," he says again, and it's petulant, and he thinks yes, he's going to regret it as soon as it leaves his mouth--

Hakyeon makes a frustrated sound from deep in his chest. He looks conflicted as he shakes his head, pressing down on one of Hongbin's hips with his palm. With his other hand he brings Hongbin's neck up to meet him in an insistent kiss, as his thrusts come sharper and harder.

"I love you," he says between kisses, pained, like Hongbin is making it hard for him to love.

Hongbin is truly and wholly overwhelmed--not just by the electric pleasure in his belly, but because Hakyeon has never told him that he loves him. He stares up at him, dazed.

"You don't have to--"

"I love you too," he says, breathless, willing himself not to blink because he wants Hakyeon to know how much he means it and how long he's known it.

Hakyeon moves into him at a perfect pace now, easy and deep, stirring his body and soul alike. Hongbin can't get him close enough, or kiss him deep enough, and the electricity in his spine is sparking, out to his toes and fingertips, and he doesn't want this to be over, but god does he want to  _ come _ \--

Hakyeon's hips begin to falter, and kissing Hongbin's ear, he says in a strained voice, "You look so beautiful filled up."

He presses their foreheads together, and with a long, low growl Hakyeon buries himself as deep as he can and comes.

Hongbin whines, the idea that he just made Hakyeon come thrilling down to his core, overwhelming, the last few hours pressing down on his chest. He ruts up against Hakyeon's stomach, desperate for friction, the same time as his eyes begin to water.

Hakyeon abandons his hip for his cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts. "You're close."

Hongbin nods, feeling the first tear fall from his eyes. "So close." He ghosts his hand over Hakyeon's, following it up and down his cock.

"Oh, baby," Hakyeon says, thumbing his tear away with his other hand.

He can't stop the tears from falling any more than he can the pressure from building and building. Hakyeon is over him kissing him softly and whispering encouragement to come.

" _ Hakyeon _ \--"

It's with the echoes of  _ I love you _ in his mind that Hongbin comes between them, entirely spent.

He floats like this for awhile, aware of Hakyeon peppering kisses across his face and repeating that he loves him, aware of him moving away to clean them up and blow out the candles.

When he feels like he can move again Hakyeon is coming back to the bed, and he lifts his head to watch him crawl over him in order to be the big spoon.

"Hakyeon," he says seriously, playing with his hair.

"Hongbin," Hakyeon mimics him, smiling.

"Thank you." 

He reaches up and makes Hakyeon kiss him the way he wants to be kissed--slow and lazy, hand scritching his scalp.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> au where hongbin never cut his hair
> 
> I dream of your body even when you're sleeping in my arms;  
> The words I love you could never be enough.  
> ~ Christopher Poindexter
> 
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/vampiresanghyuk)


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